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Hello Reader,

In this season of sun and shine, I'm writing today with gratitude. Thanks to you, 3 Good Booksmy labor of love, is thriving.

The blog series now features almost 50 fabulous writers & artists and hundreds of book recommendations from a variety of voices, including Paulann PetersenJan Gill O'NeilTracy Weil and more.

Together we've explored Dreams, Divorce, Praise, Play, Resilience, Silence, Food, Fishing, and more.

Who cares? I do! You do! Because when we read, creativity stirs. And when we create, life expands.

Thanks for joining me in the expansion.

Read on,

Drew

 

Poetry in Action

The Poets Are In: Khalil Jazz Jenkins (left) and Kyle Sutherland work the Poetry Booth. Sometimes, too much of the time, I live in my head. Writing, reading, stewing. 

What a relief it is to come up for air. To find a world alive with good people and poetry.

I was recently revived at the Denver County Fair.  Now in its sixth year, this new-fangled fun has been called the "craziest county fair in America." It's a mix of old and new, with pies, pickles, drag queens, trick pigs and more. And amid the side-show antics, poetry shines.

As the Director of Poetry, I get to orchestrate all kinds of fun: a poetry contest, a poetry performance, and a poetry booth.

Winners of the Poetry Contest, from left: Carolyn Oxley, Emma Miner, Laurie Duncan.

The Poetry Performance featured Art from Ashes, a nonprofit literary youth organization that jolted us with a reminder of the power and purpose of creative expression; Jovan Mays, poet laureate for the City of Aurora, and instructor at Lighthouse Writers Workshop; and Judyth Hill, my mentor-friend, who years ago taught a writing workshop at the Taos Institute of Arts that turned my head and heart to poetry. 

Poet Jovan Mays performs at the Denver County Fair.

Judyth Hill shares her internationally-known poem, Wage Peace.

Nearby, the Poems-Write-Now table hummed with poets-in-action. Poets penned on-the-spot poems for "customers" (donations benefited Art from Ashes). This was poetry as verb. Sunday morning reverence meets freak show mystery.

"Jazz," an Art from Ashes poet, wrote a poem for my teenage niece. She provided limited info — her name, what was on her mind, and we wandered away to watch the bug eating contest. When we returned 15 minutes later, he had turned out a complete and surprisingly perceptive poem. In the busy hall, with its rumble and echo, we clutched together, bending in to hear his words lifted from page to ear, and we stood teary-eyed and awed. 

Sometimes I'm too much in my head. That day I was all heart.

 

 

What Divides Us

 

    If what divides us is fear —

and surely the root of hatred

and greed and the lust for

power over others is fear —

telling our truths and seeing

ourselves reflected in the

stories of the 'other' might be

not just the best answer

but the only answer.
 

— Bette Husted 

 

Bette tells it true, at 3 Good Books, a blog series I host. 


Please join me there, go here

 

 

Send Supplies!

By Warsan Shire, from "What They Did Yesterday Afternoon."


Sheesh, cut us some slack!

I'm not sure to whom I'm addressing this plea, but please may I jump to the front of the line?

I'd like to return this era. Okay, exchange. I'm not even asking for money back.

I'm not swearing (too much), or crying, or even sulking. I'm mostly wandering and sad. 

But, really, who's in charge here, and how do we get out from under this heavy rock of reality? 

It's a rough season, and we're crashing about in the wreckage of politics, killing, and manuevering and manipulation. We're trapped in a mashup of House of Cards meets Veep, with a splash of Real Housewives.

(Yes, I've found escape in the world of television, and it turns out life is mirroring make-believe. There's just no escaping the crazy).

And it's a season of personal sickness and loss. Some seasons are long, and even while flowers burst and the sun shines criminally bright, our hearts remain heavy. 

And yet this is the stuff of life, the swirl and the sink. 

And so, dear readers and friends, how to keep on? Where do you turn? Words, books and poems?

Please send replies and supplies — and quick! 

 

 

Baffled, Flustered, Intrigued

So much of life is slots. This fits there. This doesn't. 

The mind likes to sort and file. And so, when we bump into a person, or a poem, that doesn't fit neatly into our definition, we are baffled, flustered, and then, ideally, intrigued.  

That's how I found Sarah Sloat, in the pages of her unusually titled book of poems: Excuse Me While I Wring This Long Swim Out of My Hair. 

Are these poems experimental? ironic? confessional? post-modern something or other? I don't know. I just know her lines lured me in, and I paddled about with, yes, an initial fluster, that expanded into a lovely backfloat of appreciation.

And so, I invited Sarah to take part in 3 Good Books. There, she offers her favorite books that defy category. 

I think you'll like the book suggestions, and Sarah too.   

 

What I Carry

A friend shares a prayer. A son holds a photo. A mother reaches for a batter-spattered recipe. I carry words.

Last night, saying goodbye to a friend, these words rise in my mind: "You never know what may cause tears. . . "  

You never know what may cause tears. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you've never seen before. A pair of somebody's old shoes can do it. Almost any movie made before the great sadness that came over the world after the Second World War, a horse cantering across a meadow, the high-school basketball team running out onto the gym floor at the start of a game. You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention.

They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go to next.

— Frederick Buechner
 Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter's Dictionary 


I first read this passage 20 years ago, on a roadtrip through the New Mexico desert, looking for my life. Years often pass in which I don't recall the words, don't think about tears or what pulls me. But the sentiment surfaces, without will, and I listen. 

What do you carry? What rises to comfort when you need it most? 

 

Thankful Thursday: People Tell Me

 

Thank you for spending Thankful Thursday with me, for keeping me accountable, appreciative, and grateful for things big and small. Attention attracts gratitude, and gratitude expands joy, and my gratitude grows when shared with you.

Some days are more difficult than others, to find the good, to comb through the junk. Here's what I've found to appreciate this week:

1. 
Two Kids Reading
I'm not a fan of the Fourth of July. All the "rockets red glare, bombs bursting in air" leaves me jangled. But I did attend a parade, and I clapped and cheered and demonstrated a festive spirit.

After the parade, amid the clamor of brass bands, hot dogs, and a mass of people wandering about, I spotted the best thing I'd seen all weekend: two kids sitting on the curb of a parking lot, reading.

Amid all the chaos, they were absorbed in their books. The young boy, at one point, stretched out on the asphalt to get more comfy. The girl was so focused not even adorable dogs and ice cream could pry her from the pages. This made my heart sing. I couldn't stop smiling, and days later, I'm still recalling the scene. 

2.
Having It Worse
Dorothy had a stroke, leaving her face immobile. But, she tells me, she's grateful. Her neighbor had a stroke, and is now unable to talk. "Can you imagine not being able to talk to anyone, to tell someone to pass the ketchup, to turn the channel?" she says. "Sometimes when I get down, I just remember that some people have it much worse."   

3. 
Sweetpeas
Thriving along fences, roadways and vacant lots. Wild, rambling, pink. The beauty of the unplanned, a quiet joy. 

4. 
My Sister, Laughing
"We try to laugh, but there's not a lot to be happy about right now," my sister tells me. I listen, nod, agree. A bit later we share a giggle about nothing at all, and a relief washes us. 

People tell me to pray for a miracle, but what if laughter is the miracle?  

 

Please join me in Thankful Thursday, a weekly pause to express appreciation for people, places, things. Big or small, (sweet)pea-sized or profound. What are you thankful for today?

 

Fast Five with Shaindel Beers

     I’ve gone to college; I have two graduate degrees,

but I’m from a farming and factory town with one

traffic light where people know that you wave

hello at someone driving a tractor. That’s just 

 good manners.


Because a few questions can lead to great insight, I'm happy to present Fast Five — interviews with my favorite writers, and chances to win great books. (To enter the drawing, simply post your name and contact info in the comments section below).

Raised in a small town in Indiana, poet Shaindel Beers has lived in remote regions and major cities and has found home in the high desert, eastern Oregon town of Pendleton. She is the author of two poetry collections, the poetry editor for Contrary magazine, and an instructor of English at Blue Mountain Community College. 

How did you come to poetry?

I wrote my first poem, unprompted, as a natural reaction to something when I was ten. I learned that my cousin had shot my dog. I remember I cried so much, and then I found a notebook. Poetry has been how I emotionally process ever since.

Your first poetry book, “A Brief History of Time,” offers a direct and down-to-earth voice that we don’t often see in poetry. Is this a conscious choice, a reflection of your personality, or something else?

When I was a younger writer, I was always drawn to blue collar poets because they felt familiar; they made me feel like I, too, could be a writer. This wasn’t anything I tried to do; it’s more a part of who I am. I’ve gone to college; I have two graduate degrees, but I’m from a farming and factory town with one traffic light where people know that you wave hello at someone driving a tractor. That’s just good manners. I’ve tried to broaden my vocabulary, but using words that don’t seem natural to me always seems like putting on a false front. I completely agree with what Stephen King says in his memoirOn Writing:

“One of the really bad things you can do to your writing is to dress up the vocabulary, looking for long words because you're maybe a little bit ashamed of your short ones. This is like dressing up a household pet in evening clothes. The pet is embarrassed and the person who committed this act of premeditated cuteness should be more embarrassed."

Your latest book, “The Children’s War” takes an unusual tack in exploring global and domestic violence. What prompted this poetry project?

I happened upon this article one day, and it was so powerful, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I started studying the artwork of child war survivors and the history of art therapy for children during wartime wherever I could find it. I ordered books online, I scoured online galleries. I wrote authors of studies. It was an obsession, one of those projects that basically writes itself.

But then midway through, I hit a wall. The big question for me was if I was supposed to write an entire book of children’s war poems or if I should include other forms of violence. On the one hand, I didn’t know if anyone could read an entire book of poetry about child war survivors. On the other hand, I didn’t want to seem selfish by including personal narratives with war narratives, but I decided to treat the collection as a study of violence in general. Violence in the home and in the community eventually becomes global violence. It is all borne of the same motivations – for one party to oppress and dominate another party.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve received?

There’s so much terrific advice out there that I’m not sure I can narrow it down, but I really believe that if you feel you’re supposed to write something that in some way is supposed to help someone, write it. Write it, and keep sending it out into the world until someone publishes it.

Life can be trying, as evidenced by your work. In the face of difficulty, what keeps you going?

Last year, I was at the Quest Writer’s Conference in Squamish, British Columbia, and a bunch of us were sitting at a table outside the dining hall soaking in the magical view of the Tantalus Range. One woman said, “You know how you become one of those older women you admire? You just keep going. You just wake up the next day, and keep doing what you’re going to do.” It was so simple, but it was an epiphany. You just wake up the next day and start over again.

Bonus Question: I’m a word collector and keep a running list of favorite words. What are your favorite words?

Most of the words I like have to do with the interesting sounds in them rather than the meanings of the words. I love the sound of the word coagulate because I love the weirdness of those vowels shifting into each other. In the language of the local Native American tribe, good morning is Tahts maywee. It sounds so cheerful. You can hear some of the language here in Roberta Conner’s TEDTalk, and it’s a great talk on the importance of indigenous languages. I also love the word chartreuse. It’s a beautiful color, too, but the sound of the word is lovely. 

 

Win this book! 

Enter a drawing to win The Children's War and Other Poems by Shaindel Beers. Simply add your name and contact info in the comments section by July 15, 2016. I'll randomly choose a name from the entries, and the winner will be contacted via email.

 

 

On Resilience

So many people whose lives are flourishing around us proceed from a resilience born from tragedy, trauma, and deep loss. . . In speaking with survivors about sexual violence and its aftermath, I’ve come to appreciate the word resilience

Patricia Weaver Francisco, author of Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery, talks about resilience and suggests 3 Good Books on the theme. 

See 3 Good Books at Push Pull Books

 

Hey Neighbor, Got a Poem?

 

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,

A beautiful day for a neighbor . . .

Since we're together we might as well say:

Would you be mine?

Could you be mine?

Won't you be my neighbor?

Won't you please,

Won't you please?

Please won't you be my neighbor?


Won’t You Be My Neighbor 
by Fred M. Rogers

 

With over 80 designated neighborhoods, Denver is flush with friendly corners, hidden gems, and sketchy stretches. Tell us about yours!

The Denver County Fair Poetry Contest, in partnership with Lighthouse Writers Workshop and Tattered Cover Book Store, is looking for poems on the theme of Neighborhood. 

Poems may be any style and length — but must relate to the Neigborhood theme. Contest is open to any adult with a Colorado address. Poems must be previously unpublished and have not received awards in other competitions. One poem per entry fee. Multiple entries accepted. All judging is blind.

Poems are read by a panel of literary professionals, including Vicki Hellmer, Dee McDonald and Joseph Hutchison - Colorado’s Poet Laureate!

Deadline:  July 15, 2016.

First Place: Blue Ribbon + Lighthouse Writers Workshop Gift Certificate + Tattered Cover Gift Token + $20 + featured in Poetry Performance

Second Place: Red Ribbon + Tattered Cover Gift Token + featured in Poetry Performance

Third Place: White Ribbon + Tattered Cover Gift Token + featured in Poetry Performance

Finalists: Tattered Cover Gift Token + Featured in Poetry Performance  

BONUS! Winning poems will be displayed as public art installations as part of Write Denver, a cool new project of Lighthouse Writers. 

How to Enter: 

1. Get Competition Info here:  http://www.denvercountyfair.org/#!enter/c1ila

2. Use the online entry form to pay your $5 fee: http://www.21stcenturyfairs.com/denver-county-fair.html.
This provides you with FREE ADMISSION to the Fair.

3. Submit your poem by July 15 via email to: poetry@denvercountyfair.org.

Include your name, address, telephone number and confirmation code (proof of payment).

Attach the poem in a Word Document or paste in the body of your email.

Winning poems will be on display at the Denver County Fair, July 29 - 31 2016, and winners and finalists are invited to read their poems at the Denver County Fair Poetry Performance on Sunday, July 31, 2016.

Poem Entry Deadline: July 15, 2016

Finalists Announced: July 28, 2016 by email

Winners Announced: Friday, July 29, 2016 at the Denver County Fair

Winning Poems Displayed at the Denver County Fair, July 29 - 31, 2016

Winners & Finalists Poetry Performance: 12pm on Sunday, July 31, 2016

 

For more info: Drew Myron, Director of Poetry, poetry@denvercountyfair.org

 

 

 

It's Not About You. Or Me.

I didn’t intend to be a poet.

Or write with troubled teenagers.

Or hold the hand of an elderly woman while we read “Hope is the thing with feathers.”

I tend to gravitate to vulnerable populations — from homeless teens to end-of-life elderly. I like artists and outcasts, those of us on the edges.

But let’s back up.

My writing life began years ago as a newspaper reporter. Over the years, writing has allowed me to wear many professional hats: grantwriter for nonprofit organizations, corporate communications for large companies, freelance writer, and publicist.

I’m also a poet, and for years I wrote in the dark, keeping my writing as a deeply personal, never-to-be-revealed part of myself. When I began to take my poetry seriously, I discovered that writing needs air. It needs life. It needs to come out of the journal and given space. It needs to come off the page and into the world.

Through a series of turns, each which unfolded one after the other until it felt natural this evolution, my writing has found a place and purpose beyond my own small self. I’m here tonight to say It’s Not All About You. Or Me.

This isn’t a sermon, but it feels like a message that took me too many years to understand, and too long to put into practice. So, yes, I’m now preaching the gospel of writing beyond yourself. Of sharing your writing with people and places, and in ways that make a difference.

Writing saved my life.

As a teenager I found my way out of suicide and into the school newspaper, (and I was lucky to have a teacher who encouraged me along the way). Writing allowed me to look outside myself, and to explore what was happening in the world around me.

I went to college, enjoyed an internship at Rolling Stone magazine in New York and when I graduated I landed a job as the editor of a community newspaper in eastern Washington. There, in Goldendale, in a town of 3,000, I was a one-person show, working as reporter/editor/photographer/layout/obituary writer and phone answerer.

For 20 years, I’ve run my own marketing communications company, working with ad agencies and businesses to create a variety of marketing materials. Last week, for example, I wrote video and radio scripts for skincare products. This week, I worked in a nursing home where I get to spend time with the very ill and the very old. For National Poetry Month I shared with the residents Langston Hughes, Emily Dickinson and Naomi Shihab Nye. And when they said, “I don’t like poetry,” I said, “Well, you just haven’t met the right poem yet. Here, try this one.”

Writing is the vehicle to get out of myself, to explore the world, to understand how I, and others, feel.

 

Unless you

visit the dark places, you’ll never

feel the sea pull you in and under,

swallowing words before they form.

Until you visit places within you

cloistered and constant, you will travel

in a tourist daze, wrought with too much

of what endures, depletes.

If you never turn from light, close

your eyes, feel the life inside, you’ll leave

the church, the beach, your self,

knowing nothing more.

Unless you are silent, you will not

know your urgent heart, how it beats

between the thin skin of yes and no.

 
- Drew Myron

 

My most fulfilling work has been with youngsters and families in need. I started and ran the writing programs at Seashore Family Literacy on the coast in Waldport, Oregon. I worked with ages 9 to 19, leading workshops, afterschool programs, summer writing camps, and ongoing mentorship of young adults.

I never liked kids. But spending time with these kids my heart expanded, my fear melted. Working with kids who have rough lives has healed my own, has stretched my heart. I’m always amazed there is still room in there, in my heart.

I think we all just want to be heard, to be seen. And that’s why I gravitate to bedraggled kids, sad teens, lonely seniors.

Don’t get me wrong, I have ego. But I spend a great amount of time feeling scared and small, and find solace in recognizing that we’re all scared and small. I’ve been published in literary journals, and have many times attended those mammoth writing conventions, like AWP, but it’s the one-to-one connection I crave.

For those of us, like Pendleton poet Shaindel Beers, whose writing illuminates the experience of children and war, or Bette Husted who shares the challenges of poverty and rural living, we’re not going to get accolades or fame, but that one-to-one exchange, that personal impact, that moment when you say to another, in words or in presence, “I hear you. I see you. I am writing with you, for you, through you” — that’s when you shine, when your writing and life make sense.

 

How to breathe


I’m trying to learn something about love,

how it gives what cannot be seen.

 

We cannot sense space without light

can’t understand light without shade.

 

In my lungs, the tight narrow space

where breath is taken and given away

 

I’m trying to learn something about faith

like a farmer, a fisher, a lover wounded and waiting.

 

Memories lodge in orchards, airways, docks.

Things we make, break, mark.

 

The natural world has much to teach about order —

how to live in storm and sun, ebb and flow.

 

Geometry holds the mind

while memory, when it juts, retreats, recovers, shows us

 

how to hold the darkness

how to breathe.

 

- Drew Myron

 

Don’t be misled. This isn't a Mother Teresa complex. I’m not trying to save the world; I’m trying to be in it. And writing is the way I am most present, most engaged, most real.

So, here’s the call to action. (I told you this was church): 

How can you apply your writing to real life?

How can you get out of your journal and into the world?

It sounds lofty, but really, it’s easy. It takes so little to make a difference, and this is both very hopeful and profoundly sad.

Here are a few suggestions. I can tell you from very first-hand experience, this will improve your writing and your life. And may help someone else to boot.

Read & write with children.
Schools and community centers are hungry for volunteers. And children are hungry for undivided attention from an adult who cares. 

Meet your neighbors, have a party.
Is your neighborhood like mine? All different ages and backgrounds and interests, and though we wave hello from the car, we don't really know each other. So, get to know your neighbors with a party. Everybody brings a snack and something written — a poem, a book, a favorite quotation, a fortune cookie . . . The written word, in all its many forms, serves as your common bond and your launching point to real connection.

Start a writing group.
I was born in Oregon, moved away, returned in my 20s, moved away, and returned 12 years ago.

When I moved back, I knew no one and was desperate for writing companions, so I put out a call for writers. I placed flyers around town, in cafes, the laundromat, the post office (the true gathering place of any small town), and I offered soup. Our first meeting was in November, during a storm of howling wind and sideways rain, and I was sure no one would show up. Why would they? Who was I? What did I think I was doing?

Well, 10 happy people showed up at my house that dark and stormy night. And that writing group turned into a monthly gathering that led to an annual reading event that drew an audience of over 80 people — primarily non-writers — each year. One thing leads to another and another . . .

Visit a nursing home.
Read, talk, just be present. It takes very little effort to brighten the life of the lonely, and in turn, this will brighten you. Sounds trite, but it’s anything but. Many of the residents, once avid readers, have lost the ability to see, think clearly, and to read. Bring a book of poems, or short stories, or a newspaper, and be a personal reader. 

Pair up with an artist.
You write in response to their art, or they create art in response to your writing. This will stretch you more than you’d imagine. My friend and I collaborated on a painting and poetry project while her husband was dying. This process, and the results, were full of heart and healing. 

Get poems in public.
I’m the Director of Poetry for the Denver County Fair, isn’t that a great title? Six years ago we started a poetry contest and each year it grows more popular. We now get more poems than pickles, pies or pigs! And the contest was so fun we added a poetry performance. And that was so fun we added a poetry booth where people pay for poems written on-the-spot. And it just goes on and on . . . 


The point of all this reaching out, stretching and giving, is that writing needs air. Writing, and writers — that’s all of us — thrive when we get out of the journal, get off the page, and walk into the world.

 

Bathroom Stall

The stranger who has wet herself tips her head close to yours.

You just want to shop, buy vegetables for dinner, some sort of meat. You don’t have time. It’s late, or early, your list is long. You’re wearing the good skirt, the one that skims the waist, slims your legs. But there’s her dress, now sopping. She’s bunching the fabric, trying to hide the accident, and this small dank space smells like a pen of puppies.

You must be an angel, she says.

You’re no angel. You’re removed, mysteriously lifted from the stench of spreading urine. You banter, a light voice over her heavy motorized cart as you hoist her hips and raise the dress from fleshy legs. You’re talking over the shame you both feel.

Will you open this diaper, she asks? You rip the package, and help her in. Her ankles are thick, her socks wet. Where pity, shock or sorrow should be, you feel absence. You wipe her legs, the seat of her cart.

She’s not crying, not yet. But she’s breathing hard as she palms an inhaler, the same one you carry in your purse. When I get upset, she says, dragging long on a small puff. It’s then you crumble. She is you. This will be you. This may already be you.

Everything moves slow in this confessional. It takes four turns to maneuver the cart out of the stall. At the sink, you wash away secrets. At the door, she stops, reaches in her cart, says, Let’s have a snack. You don’t want to eat sweets in a dirty grocery store bathroom.

You feel sick. You hesitate. But it’s all she has to give, so you say, Let me help you open that. This gesture, this simple fix, it’s all you have, too.

 - Drew Myron

 

Let's face it, not everyone can write. Even on our bad days, when we’re stuck and blocked and whining, we’re better writers than most of the population. No really. We often take for granted what comes to us naturally.

Not everyone has your skill and heart. You have so much to offer. I’m pleading with you now, to share your words, to share your self.  

 

— A presentation by Drew Myron for the First Draft Writers' Series, at the Pendleton Center for the Arts, in Pendleton, Oregon, on May 19, 2016.

 

Drew Myron is author of Thin Skin, a collection of photos and poems. She frequently collaborates with artists and her work has appeared in numerous galleries, books, and literary magazines. She heads a marketing communications company with a focus on hunger, homelessness, literacy, and health. As a journalist, she’s covered news, arts, entertainment and travel for a variety of print and online publications.

 

 

You still here, too?

John Atkinson, Wrong Hands

Remember when "blogging" was a ridiculous made-up word? And sharing your personal thoughts on the internet was just weird and self-involved? 

It's all still true, but I've been blogging for 8 years so I guess I've acquiesced. Drewmyron.com, established 2008. Happy Birthday to me!

Eight real-life years is equal to 20 internet years. So, yes, I've made the leap from flipphone to smartphone, from cotton to cashmere, from Friends to Veep. Time flies when you're writing to yourself (and hoping a few peer over your shoulder and give an occasional nod). 

Blogs are dead! You've heard this, too? Most of my blogger friends have left the party. But I'm still here, the clumsy guest who just won't leave, even as the hostess nudges me with, Can I get your coat? Your keys? A life?

But, wait, you're still here too. Hello, so nice to see you. I like your dress, and your shoes. So tell me, are you a writer? what's your favorite book? do you want to be blog friends? 

Let's keep this party going.*

 

*with a nod to Pink and the prehistoric Myspace era. 

 

How to love the living

What I Learned From My Mother
 

I learned from my mother how to love

the living, to have plenty of vases on hand

in case you have to rush to the hospital

with peonies cut from the lawn, black ants

still stuck to the buds. I learned to save jars

large enough to hold fruit salad for a whole

grieving household, to cube home-canned pears

and peaches, to slice through maroon grape skins

and flick out the sexual seeds with a knife point.

I learned to attend viewings even if I didn’t know

the deceased, to press the moist hands

of the living, to look in their eyes and offer

sympathy, as though I understood loss even then.

I learned that whatever we say means nothing,

what anyone will remember is that we came.

I learned to believe I had the power to ease

awful pains materially like an angel.

Like a doctor, I learned to create

from another’s suffering my own usefulness, and once

you know how to do this, you can never refuse.

To every house you enter, you must offer

healing: a chocolate cake you baked yourself,

the blessing of your voice, your chaste touch.

 

— Julia Kasdorf