Sometimes when the world is heavy and your heart is worn, you need a good, wrenching, cleansing, body-shaking cry.
ca·thar·tic
/kəˈTHärdik/
adjective — providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis, as in: “crying is a cathartic release.”
— from Whistling in the Dark: A Doubters Dictionary by Frederick Buechner
When it’s time for catharsis, I pull out the proper tools: movies, television, and books.
My top movie for a good cleansing cry is always Magnolia. It’s a potent mix of stellar acting, interlacing storylines, and the alchemy of the Aimee Mann soundtrack [particularly the repeated song Save Me, with the lines: “If you could save me / From the ranks of the freaks / Who suspect they could never love anyone.”]
My latest favorite television binge is Six Feet Under. This odd drama series had a devoted following when it debuted 20 years ago and frequently stirs my out-of-nowhere tears.
My favorite tear-inducing novels come unexpectedly. I don’t go looking for catharsis. It just happens, which makes it all the more powerful and cleansing. Years ago, back when I attended church and had more faith in institutions, I had a similar feeling: a sudden rise of emotion that swells in the chest, gathers in the throat, spills over and leaves me both foolish and released. Tears are such a bubbling mystery.
But sometimes you need help finding those feels-good-to-feel-sad kind of books. Please, let me be your guide:
The Good Women of Safe Harbour
by Bobbi French
A life-affirming novel about a woman facing death and mending a friendship.
“Fight. Such a flat, ugly word. Why was everyone forever harping about fighting? I’d taken to reading the obituaries lately, paying close attention to the ones that read ‘lost her courageous battle with cancer’ or some such nonsense. It seemed to me the mortality had somehow been made over as a character defect.”
This beautiful and sometimes funny book is my favorite novel of 2022.
One Heart
by Jane McCafferty
A quiet character study of the simple and conflicting bonds of sisterhood. This is a novel of both despair and hope.
A Little Life
by Hanya Yanagihara
A staggering, brutal, poignant novel about a man physically and emotionally broken. (Caution: As with most things, readers are deeply divided on the brilliance — or not — of this book).
“Somewhere, surrendering to what seemed to be your fate had changed from being dignified to being a sign of your own cowardice.”
The Magical Language of Others
by E.J. Koh
A powerful and aching love story in letters, from mother to daughter, that is written with a level of poetic detachment that provides space to hold the pain.
“Neither happiness nor sadness are ever done with us. They are always passing by.”
The Great Believers
by Rebecca Makkai
A sweeping story that weaves numerous storylines, from AIDS to art to friendships lost and found. Written with beautiful economy and precision.
“But when someone’s gone and you’re the primary keeper of his memory—letting go would be a kind of murder, wouldn’t it? I had so much love for him, even if it was a complicated love, and where is all that love supposed to go?”
Crossing to Safety
by Wallace Stegner
A quiet novel of deep compassion and insight into the bonds of friendship and marriage.
“Sally has a smile I would accept as my last view on earth...”
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Your Turn: What’s your vice for a good cathartic cry?
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